How do we truly forgive someone who has wronged us?
The basis of forgiveness is that God has forgiven us in Christ before. We don’t just forgive because of the above, but how he forgives. 5 Parts:
- Gracious but not free
- Conditional but not unconditional
- Commitment
- lays the groundwork for restoration
- Does not eliminate all consequences
The groundwork of Forgiveness is becoming the kind of person who forgives the way God forgives. People who are like God will forgive the way God forgives.
Lack of spiritual maturity is not a factor.
4 steps to forgiveness
1. Step Humbly
Be humble. You are not powerful anything with Jesus.
Humility is not self-dedregation. It is not thinking about yourself, or self-forgetfulness.
If someone wrongs you, and you aren’t humble, it’s easy to become self-righteous. Humble yourself first.
2. Step Soberly
Be sober about your sin. Look in your eye for a log.
Also be sober about the other person’s sin. Love covers a lot of sons, but where is the line? It comes from experience. It is important to see the context in this area.
If someone sins against you, go and tell them their sin.
Go immediately because otherwise, bitterness and hostility will grow. Eventually you start to see the person not as the person but as the sin they sinned against you.
When we know, we need to grow, so hostility doesn’t grow.
4. Step Properly
- A Brother Who Sins Against You
“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.- But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’
- If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
Firstly go to the person personally. Don’t put them on the defensive by bringing a lot of people. Never bring a whole gang of people. Next should be 2 or 3 wise Christians.
Chris Brauns
Keep the circle small.
Then take it to the Church. This assumed that this person is a believer and is part of your church.
If they still don’t listen, there is no other option. This person becomes like a stranger to me rather than a brother.
Once they turn, forgiveness can happen. One has to let it go. It ca stop hanging over their head.
Be patient and have modest expectations. Don’t expect them to respond the way you want them to respond.